Like any good joke, there is a kernel (or a little more) of truth in the following one.
A dictionary of useful research phrases: what physics researchers say and what they mean by it
It has long been known: I didn’t look up the original reference.
A definite trend is evident: These data are practically meaningless.
Of great theoretical and practical importance: Interesting to me.
While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions: An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study: The results of the others didn’t make any sense.
Typical results are shown: The best results are shown.
These results will be shown in a subsequent report: I might get around to this sometime if I’m pushed.
The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones: He was my graduate assistant.
It is believed that: I think.
It is generally believed that: A couple of other people think so too.
It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs: I don’t understand it.
Correct within an order of magnitude: Wrong.
It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this: This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.
A careful analysis of obtainable data: Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.