Crises in Confidence

While pursuing a PhD in physics, it seems almost inevitable that at some point one will suffer a crisis in confidence. This is usually accompanied by asking oneself some of the following questions, especially if one is intending to go down the academic route:

  1. Am I good enough to be here?
  2. Should I leave with a Masters degree? Have I been in graduate school too long to leave with just a Masters degree?
  3. Should I start developing other skills to make myself a more marketable candidate to pursue other careers?
  4. Do I really like this enough to continue doing this?
  5. Have I made a huge mistake in going to graduate school? My friends who started working right away seem happier.
  6. Is the modern academic climate, where there is pressure to publish, where I want to be?

Obviously, I can’t answer all these questions. Everyone’s answers will be different. The reason I bring these questions up, though, is that they are on everyone’s mind, that is, unless you are going to be the next Feynman. Even the most successful of graduate students will likely go through periods where they are low on confidence.

The only thing that one can do is be honest and work to the best of one’s ability. Despite the immense pressure to publish, I think it is worth pursuing a project that will enable one to say after graduate school, “I accomplished A and I developed skills in B” and not “I published X papers”.

I also think it is worth talking to older graduate students and postdocs about how they combated their periods of low confidence — it may help you get through yours. Talking to one’s advisor about these issues can also help, but be wary that they are sometimes far removed from the graduate school experience.

I think that everyone can and should acknowledge that there is certainly a large element of luck involved in determining one’s scientific path. Sometimes you roll double-sixes and sometimes you roll a two-three combo.

Related: Inna has also written an excellent article about her experience in getting a PhD. You can read it here.

Non-sequitur: I was recently at another beam time run and as with most runs, got little sleep. As fatigue starts to kick in at 4-5 AM, I sometimes (for some bizarre reason) find myself listening to a song on repeat. “Ageless Beauty” happened to be the one this week, a cover of a song originally sung by Canadian group Stars:

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4 responses to “Crises in Confidence

  1. Peter Abbamonte

    Thanks for this post. I had forgotten what it was like. I would take this a step further and say that doing anything that involves more than just taking orders from other people, such as starting your own business, requires skills in getting through periods of self-doubt.

    Like

    • Hi Peter, thanks for your comment. It’s interesting that you liked this post considering that your (apparent) unwavering confidence that things were always going to work out probably helped me surmount periods of low confidence while I was a graduate student.

      Like

  2. Pingback: A culture of tolerating ignorance | Gravity and Levity

  3. Arnab Barman Ray

    Actually, even Feynman went through that phase while at Princeton, the infamous Imposter Syndrome had plagued that genius too!

    Liked by 1 person

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